You Be The Anchor
by My Elegant Disaster
Summary: A songfic about Uryu (Uryuu) and Ryuken Ishida's terrible family realationship. Emotional One Shot.


Those of you who have read this before *glances and smiles at reviewers* may realize some differences. I kinda spaced out on the fact that you were not allowed to you the lyrics in the songfic (I'm SO SORRY!). I removed the lyrics of this song and _Stay, _but I hope you still like them, review them, and favorite them! Ps. This song would be more impactful if you listend to it! Don't be lazy! Go online (which you already are) and listen to _You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds, by Mayday Parade._

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Hey! I wrote this because I think it sums up Uryu's and Ryuken's relationship quite nicely. I believe that Ryuken loves Uryu, but he wants to keep Uryu safe, he wants him to actually have a life. This is a songfic, Uryu's and Ryuken's thoughts are the paragraphs. Uryu's thought are in normal font and Ryukens are _Italic._ I love music, but this one song has very strong emotional connections. This song is _You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds_ you can find it online with just, _You Be The Anchor _by _Mayday Parade. _They have a wonderful band full of beautiful music and I recommend that you listen to this song (at least). Please read and review!

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How many times have I had a question that refused to leave my lips? How many times have I had a question that refused to reach your ears? How many times have I had a question that you refused to answer?

How many tears were left unshed? How my fights did I have to stay strong through? How many times did you tell me that tears were a sign of weakness?

How many times have I thought about it? How many times did I pack my bag in plan to leave? I've finally done it. I'm living on my own but I'm also supported by him. I can never cut all of my ties and start over.

How many times have our worlds crashed? How many times did I feel as if you would kill me for just being me? I can't tell you face to face so I will leave you a note instead. I'm going to help my friend in Huecco Mundo.

How many late hours will you work? How many times as a child did I have to sleep alone in that big empty house? I suppose it was better to be alone, the words are almost gone when you weren't there. I needed to leave even if you are my supposed "father".

How many hours have I spent waiting to hear the truth? How many times have I had to say goodbye to my dreams? Too many to count. I realised that as long as I'm in that house with you I can kiss those dreams goodbye.

Smoking. It's all you ever seem to do. You take a long drag when you're upset or nervous, it's the only thing you give away. No hate, no fear, no love. I have never liked cigarettes and you know because whenever you take a drag I tell you not to.

Countless hours, full of countless questions. None of them are ever answered. The only one who answered me, and my questions, was my late grandfather, Soken. My chance with God is shot… with me going to the land of the dead and all.

Everything in my life ends up wrong. My mother died just before my sixth birthday, my grandfather died in front of my eyes two years later... after he was gone the fact that I never truly had a father made itself more apparent. I only just got comfortable with my friends and I doubt they'll stay for long. I feel like one day I'll wake up and these seventeen years of my life have just been a dream, with make believe places and people.

Emotions. Haven't seen those in a while. No rejoice, no pain, no laughter, no tears. He's an enigma who will never show emotions and will never answer my questions.

No love. You never gave out your love to me. Awkward meals, awkward car rides, awkward conversations. You never gave an inch, and I can't stand the silent ringing in my ears. I can never love you. After so many years of silence I will finally allow that thought to become present. You will never show love to me, so I can never actually love you.

Seconds to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, days to weeks, weeks to months, months to years. I count the days when I have to be in your presence. As a child you would always do your best to make me insecure. It's always hard to wait for my time with you to end.

It would always take so long but I finally am able to talk to you without losing my words. I became able to talk within three years of Soken's death, and I am never being silent again.

It's nearly one in the morning. When are you coming home? There is absolutely no point in being at home when you don't come back till I'm asleep. It's ridicules.

My new life. New friends. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I'm friends with a Soul Reaper. It's literally perfect… or, at least, as close as it has ever come for me.

If you could find more time. If you had less work. If you would spend thirty minutes on me. I'm sure I would love you and accept you as my dad, but you never gave me anytime. Not even thirty minutes.

_Why can't you see things from my prospective? Why do you have to be so naive and headstrong? Why can you not see that I will always be there for you, even if you would rather have me dead?_

_I see now that you may never understand me. You will never see how much I truly care for you, how much I desire to protect you. Why do you think I gave you your power's back? I light up a cigarette, wishing the pain, of you not even talking to me, away._

_You were a very curious child. Wanting to know anything and everything. I couldn't answer your question's because I was just starting my career._

_On occasion, you and me, went to dinner. The Hollows would come and devour the lost souls. You would cry, I would tsk, and people would stare. Stare at the grouchy young man and his five year old son, who was crying over make believe monsters._

_I remember when you would come to my bed after a long night crying your eye's out, about how they were giving you nightmares. I would ask you, who was giving you nightmares, you would say, the Hollows are giving you nightmares. I would let you lay in my bed while I went into the kitchen to talk to your grandfather about how you were not supposed to be in this kind of thing._

_No feelings. I did not exhibit these to you. Force of habit, I guess. Disconnecting myself from everyone after my wife's death. I only have one true friend and you… I can't even call you a son, no fault of your own. All the blame is on me and I except that._

_Please keep me with you. Please realize why I have done everything I have done. It is, and will always be, for you, Uryu._

I hope, one day, that you'll learn your mistakes. Realize the why, in all of my questions, Ryuken.

**And I'll have you know I'm scared to death**

Tell me all your reasoning. Tell me why you do the things you do. You're a sorry excuse for a father.

_I know I never gave you the love and affection your mom and grandfather gave you. I hope you have love for me somewhere, son._

You seemed to have time to embarrass me and make me look like a fool, by saving me from that Hollow, but you can't take a second to kill one that's in your way and prevent a soul's death. You're sick, Ryuken.

Ryuken, I can never love you entirely.

_Uryu, I care for you through my heart and soul._

Ryuken, I can never forgive you for your lack of everything.

_Uryu, I need to see you survive and grow old, I'll be at a distance._

Father, does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?  
_Son, does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?_

**?**


End file.
